What is after school detention like in your school?

“But you’d have to stay with me Mr. Canfield,” I said pushing it.

He picked it up and unfolded it and read it.

I had to go to my sisters and tell them I had a half hours detention. I told them what happened. Lori and Tracy looked at each other then burst out laughing.

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So back in detention.

“I really didn’t throw it at you, it was meant for my pal,” I said.

My sisters, twins Lori and Tracy were in Grade 12 at my school and they were already on their way as fashion models. They too started their career at 15. They had eidetic memory and whizzed through school at the top of their class.

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“That wasn’t meant for you. It was meant for someone else, it just turned and rammed into your desk.”

I fooled around in class. I got in trouble. My pal to the right of me a few desks away told me a stupid joke on a note. I wrote on a piece of paper, YOUR AN IDIOT and folded it into a paper airplane and when the teacher wasn’t looking, I threw it at my buddy. The plane suddenly did a left hand turn and landed on the teachers desk, my math teacher. Tall and hefty with a brush cut, deep booming voice, this guy could have been a Marine DI, however, he was ex Navy.

“One hour detention smart ass,”he said in a growl.

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“Did you like the Navy Mr. Canfield?” And then it started, his memories in the Navy. He loved the Navy but had to leave because of an accident.

Simply staying after school and either doing homework, schoolwork, reading or what have you. Sometimes a long lecture and if you really did something bad a strap then detention. Boring and terrible that you had to stay longer at a place you couldn’t wait to get out of. Of course the teacher also had to stay.

Damn.

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At fifteen I was already playing in a band, making money, I had already been on TV with my band, our manager was a disc jockey so he had us at the radio station recording studio which was a great experience. I, RJ Holland was going to be a rock star so school was a waste of time.

“We’ll wait RJ,” Lori said. I always got a ride to school then home with the girls.

Luckily it was changed to half an hour.

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“Well it must have been a Mitsubishi Zero then because it just committed suicide, FOR YOU!”

This following detention I remember like it was yesterday

“Jesus! Soldier?” he said as if it was a bad word. “I ought to kick your ass and knock some sense in you. In the muck and mud, bugs, rations, rain, bullets coming at you, are you crazy. Navy will give you a home in a ship with a roof over your head and damn...

So I’m getting piano lessons and my teacher wants me to get an upright piano instead of a keyboard. An upright piano is way above my price range, so what do I do? And what’s the difference between an upright piano and a keyboard?

I didn’t take school serious, especially high school because I didn’t think I needed it. I could read and write and do math, that’s all I needed. I would never, ever do the crazy assed math they taught in high school unless I was going to be a rocket scientist.

“I must say you are getting better in math. I have to ask though, are your sisters helping you?” I nodded. “Thought so, your formulas are the same as theirs, abbreviated and quick to the point. Smart girls. Sometimes I think THEY should be teaching math class.”

“Threw them overboard?” I said.

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“I always wanted to be a soldier like my grandfather and my dad,” I said finding it easier to talk to this intimidating man.

He stared at me. “Do you know what we did with stupid assholes like you in the Navy?” He asked me.

He looked at me. “I know, that’s why I shortened it to half an hour. This was intended more for the others in class in case THEY wanted to start fooling around.”

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“WHO THE FUCK THREW THIS!” he bellowed. That’s exactly what he said. Now a few students saw me throw it. He stood up and glared at us. “If the Jack Ass that threw this doesn’t stand up in thirty seconds, you are all getting an hour detention!” Bert who sat behind me slugged me in the shoulder. I slowly stood up.

“That’s okay,” he said softly staring into my eyes, then he roared, “BECAUSE I HAVE FUCK ALL TO GO HOME TO EXCEPT A CAT WHO IS SCRATCHING THE SHIT OUT OF MY NEW COUCH!” His wife had divorced him three months ago.

“Any thoughts of joining the military?” He asked.

What nonsense did you hear today in India that made you laugh?